The Email to end all other Emails.

There is a pathetic hopelessness that goes along with looking for a job. It's all searching, second guessing, begging and - of course - waiting. Oh, the waiting.

The last week has consisted of me staring at my Blackberry waiting for the email that begins the rest of my life. Every other buzz has been a brutal tease. Every text, BBM, Facebook alert and email from god damn Borders Rewards has lead to a minor heart attack. WHY does Borders still INSIST on emailing me despite the fact that they are OUT OF BUSINESS?

Basically, the issue with looking for a job in the age of cyber applications and Monster.com is that the waiting is compounded. We expect instant gratification in all aspects of life and any delay feels like an eternity. When I email someone, I expect a response within a day. When I order chinese food online, I expect it within a half hour. When I send a Gchat I expect a response within seconds, and so on and so forth.

Which leads me to the point that I am coming up on a week's worth of waiting for a certain company to contact me and have become more discouraged with every passing hour. Did they hate my cover letter? Did they hate my writing samples? Did I - god forbid- misspell something? Am I just not good enough?

Every morning for the last seven mornings begins with me shaking awake violently, taking a second to collect my bearings and then a frantic dive for my phone to see if THIS is the day. Every morning for the last seven mornings, I have been disappointed.

WAIT - my phone just buzzed! Maybe this is it, maybe THIS is the email that changes my life and launches me on the trail towards literary stardom and luxury apartments and Italian cars and French restaurants and Swedish au pairs!

Fucking Borders.